Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
