I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so let's talk penis.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
