I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
