I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
