I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
