Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
