You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Randomize
