I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
