your room smells of hookers.
And success
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
