You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
