I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
They took my balls.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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