from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
