she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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