Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.

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(904): View more from Florida

stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it

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(620): View more from Kansas

Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.

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(516): View more from New York

My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.

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