hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
