Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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