HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
