Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
