he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
