it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
