I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
