i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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