So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
