He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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