ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
