it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
