WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
