watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just cropdusted the office
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
