Sry I called you an 8
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize