ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
