we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I met the friendliest cop last night
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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