Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
