If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
