when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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