I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
