That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
