you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
