sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
