I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
