ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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