I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
