i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
