sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
