Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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