If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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