I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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