You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
it was like eating out sand paper
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Randomize
