I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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