Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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