1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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