I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
