i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
