In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
