i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
