omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
