ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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