So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
