my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
