The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
