saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
