I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
