Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
