Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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