Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
