"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
